Look away from the lemon water 

Marketing will inadvertently shift with whatever is ‘hot’ at the time.

It’s a vested intrest.

You, like millions of others may have heard of the myriad of benefits surrounding ‘lemon water’ in early 2013, or been swamped by the ‘kale’ epidemic last year, you may have even fallen victim of both.

The superfoods, as they are known are quickly becoming homologous to high end fashion. I had previously NEVER heard of kale in my life prior to 2013. As for lemon water, I would rather eat a slice of red capsicum and get 50x the vitamin C, than force myself to chug that diluted acid.

It seemed that overnight ‘kale’ (an otherwise overgrown spinach), had wrapped the marketing world in its fibrous storm.17a3

Kale smoothies, kale ice cream, kale chips! You couldn’t escape the onslaught of kale-ification!
I remember reading article upon article preaching the miracle that was Kale.

So give it a few weeks, a year or so and now we’re in 2015.

What have you heard recently about kale? I look around the supermarket and see kale on special, again.

Fluorescent yellow tags sticking out like childrens tongues after a 7th birthday party.

Dominating the bottom shelf in a desperate attempt to get noticed, ‘Reduced to clear‘ splayed across the side.

  
No one wants you anymore Kale.

Your moment in the sun has passed, and now it’s onto something else. Some strange exotic seed or tongue tying agalmalation of vowels that we’re probably prounouncing wrong anyway (see; my quinoa confusion for years)

See just typing the word ‘new superfood’ gave me this… Oh joyous internet.

So I decided to highlight some laughably sad diet fads that seem to be mindwashing society.

Digging a little deeper; these have to be some of my honorouble mentions, 

  1. Freekeh; sounds more freaky then foody
  2. Farrow; i could do a better job at inventing names then this, honestly. 
  3. Bone broth jelly, isn’t this the same as every single jelly constituent out there?
  4. Bee pollen; and I thought Bees were under threat enough as it is recently, now we have to go out and just hunt them to extinction. 
  5. Vouge magazine even went as far as to say this about Chlorophyll

“Also called nature’s green magic, chlorophyll has the power to regenerate our bodies at the molecular and cellular level.”

Thank you Vouge, I had no idea that I have actually been a plant for the last 19 years of my life.

And now for the winner of 2015s shameful waste of money award thus far. 

drumroll please…..

  • ACTIVATED CHARCOAL

When I saw this I really had to rub my eyes.

Charcoal. Really.

WHAT IDIOT CAME UP WITH THAT IDEA.

do you know what charcoal is primarily made out of?

  • Carbon

Do you know what we breathe out on a daily basis?

  • Carbon

WHY ARE WE PUTTING SOMETHING IN OUR BODIES THAT WE WANT TO NATURALLY GET RID OF?

#rant

Perhaps im not looking at the full story here, okay fair enough, maybe because the person or persons (ahem Vouge.com) who came up with (a majority of) this list took into consideration that you’re keeping up with the latest ‘superfoods’ of 2015 list and do Infact, ingest chlorophyll too.

So with Vouge’s logic, yes, you eventually do turn into a plant and via Photosynthesisyou can miraculously convert that activated charcoal into glucose.

Thus energising you!

* sigh*

In another sense, I find it great that the Australian marketing Accosiation  is atleast making an effort to get society to shift it’s 1 in 4 overweight arse. Even if it means there is a sum of money behind the process

  
I for one find it halariously comical that everyday (otherwise useless) items (barely passed off as edible at that) are having their time in the spotlight. 

Hey who knows, maybe you should think twice before giving those tomato stems the flick to your compost, you might be around the corner from discovering the new superfood of the coming year.

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